Written By Lindsey Burris | Photographed by Michael Carnrike
the person next to you doesn't look familiar and you have lost all feeling in your body. You can't remember how you got here, and you start to panic. Every thought running through your mind leads you in a new direction instead of an answer. Alcohol causes numerous effects on everyone, specifically young women. Women fall victim to alcohol's effects which often take advantage of its consumer. Why do young women consume more than their tolerance level and why do they let themselves get out of control? The answer is complex and comes in various forms, but one is she wants to be someone she is not. When faced with fears around social acceptance, a woman finds herself turning to a side she is unfamiliar with. Preparing for the night, and every activity leading up to the 3 o'clock wake-up call is consumed by actions that allow the woman to become a new version of herself. She delicately places a mask of make-up on, retouches her hair, zips up her leather boots and sprays perfume across her chest. She is transformed and is ready to show others a side of herself she is just beginning to discover. The transformation process prevents anyone from discovering who she is. Then again maybe the night version of herself is who she truly is.
The night begins as she exits her 4 foot by 5 foot bathroom and steps onto the damp street outside. Her appearance is exactly where she wants it, yet her self-confidence is only at base level. She enters into the smoke-filled, alcohol-induced room. This is where others go to become someone new, someone who is leaving their real self at the door to become another being. She moves deeper into the room and feels her adrenaline accelerate. Her self-esteem is boosted as she swallows her first glass of liquor. Men are approaching and she is engaging with them. The attraction between her and a man is being smothered by their mutual levels of intoxication. They talk, explaining their lives and where they are from. Each one over-elaborating and never speaking the full truth. Their interaction is fake and unnatural, yet both are feeling an attraction. The night begins to move in a new direction, out of the smoke and alcohol. They both see where the night is going, however she abruptly second guesses her decision. He reassures her and they fall into his empty apartment.
The night has finally ended at 3 o'clock when she wakes up to the bitter cold entering the apartment from the window. She has fallen victim to her own self-esteem issues and her own poor decisions. She doesn't remember the night or why she is with this man, but she knows what they have done and wants to forget everything. She gathers her boots and quickly throws her hair up to leave the building. Her cycle is reset.